Why traumas at a young age have such a longing mental effect on people?

A woman who married a man his younger, wrote his ex-wife 6 months after he left her for another woman,  and the man wrote that women a message along the following lines:

He said to her that “I met her at one of my office meetings, and it wasn’t love at first site, but as the time rolled by and to see how she was with me…the way she spoke, the way she treated me, and how she respected me that is what made me fall in love..and we didn’t have relations for many months later..”

I met this couple some time ago. I know she was in a relationship and was looking to be promiscuous. He on the other hand was a former cartel boss, liked guns and toughness, was in many physical fights, and would turn on a drop as everything around him was a potential threat.

She got what she wanted. A much younger, but tough women, and an aboslute perfection in bed. He pleased her in bed. He had all the moves he always wanted when it came to intercourse, so she got what she wanted. For the short term.

Now he saw that he could have the dream woman for him. He saw an older woman, successful, pretty, confident, and all he adored in a women. 

However, this man was a troubled person. He saw the world that everything was for him, and nothing was for this women, not in a financial way, but in an emotional way. He wanted her to give all her emotions to him as he had always felt empty inside.

You see he has moved from one place to another many times and the relationships begin and end the same way. At a young age, he was abandoned by his father, and was left to eat food from the floor like a dog. Those memories clearly are hidden in the back of his mind as I could see it. He always needed the assurance from people around him that he was respected, that he was talked to in a very encouraging fashion at all times, and most importantly, that he was treated superior to all those around him by his woman. 

The problem we have is the following: that reality he holds in his mind is not a balanced one. If things did not go the way he wanted, or if he felt that woman’s emotions strayed from him, he considered that as a threat due to the lack of love he felt for himself,  which resulted in tremendous anger in the form of violence compounded at times by psychotic reactions which where caused when the little boy was neglected at a young age.

However as opposed to the Golden Rule and the Fibonacci series, of continuous progress, this is what we call continuous destruction as you start with an image of perfection and due to the lack of love of oneself, then overtime due to your belief and reaction system, you become self-destructive and then start over again the phsycotic process, or in other words, insanity.

Welcome to the Reversal of Continuum Progress which I have coined the Anti Self Love Formula and the need to seek professional attention to this man. I pray one day he seeks repair and reprogramming of those neurons to have a much more positive belief system in himself.